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Google Lays Off 50% of Staff as April Fools' Day Cancelled

2020-04-01

(Mountain View, CA) - Google was compelled to lay off around 10% of it's staff today after the official cancellation of April Fools' Day this year. WIth national and international morale at a low due to the Covid-19 pandemic, there was little appetite for the usual pranks and jokes this year. "We've had to lay off our entire Hijinks, Malarkey, Shenanigans, and Tomfoolery departments, comprising roughly half our headcount. This is devastating. Fortunately, other departments including Search (1%) and Short-Lived Services (49%) will be able to keep running", a spokesperson for the company said. Google is well-known for its commitment to practical jokes on April Fools' Day. Google has put out… read more 🏃‍♀️

1700 Google Actually Engineers Working on New Chat App, Not Covid-19 website, Company says

2020-03-15

(Mountain View, CA) - President Trump announced that 1700 Google engineers were hard at work on a website to help with the Covid-19 pandemic as part of an address last Friday, March 13th. Google has since announced that, contrary to what President Trump noted, that only 17 engineers were working on the site (Verily). The spokesperson did, however, confirm that there were indeed 1700 engineers dedicated to it's next messaging/video chat service. "We feel we've allocated our resources appropriately and really think this time....what time is it? The fifth? Whatever - we definitely have it this time" Google has been known to launch and then shutter products, even as industry rivals like Amazon… read more 🏃‍♀️

Google Engineers Haven't Eaten, Slept in Days Without Nap pods or Snacks

2019-05-04

(Mountain View, CA) - Google, Facebook, and Microsoft engineers and employees working from home are finding it hard to eat and find sleep after finding they couldn't take home their nap-pods or micro-kitchens. Amazon engineers, however, were faring better after being instructed to "use your front door as a desk" and "spend as much money as possible at Whole Foods". "There's usually more...food....and housing...I just...where is my free latte." — Sleep Deprived Software engineer read more 🏃‍♀️

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