news

GameStop To Offer Stock Trade-In Program

(Grapevine, TX) - GameStop has been making headlines in and out of the financial markets over the past week after its stock price was sent soaring by retail traders. The stock was trading at the $15-$20 level as recently as late 2020, but has hit recent highs of a staggering $469. The stock event briefly became the largest component of the Russell 2000 index. The company has been relatively quiet, likely trying to watch things play out and to not to jinx their incredible good luck. But after a few days of insanity, GameStop announced that it would immediately offer a nationwide stock trade-in program. A spokesperson for the company had this to say when reached for comment: "In light of the… Read more

social media

Twitter Launches Super Unfollow

(San Francisco, CA) Twitter announced today that it would roll out a handful of new features over the next few quarters aimed at increasing monetization. Major social media networks like Twitter and Facebook have recently faced increased pressure to…

tech

Jeff Bezos Ousted From Amazon By r/wallstreetbets

Seattle, WA — Founder and CEO of Amazon ($AMZN) Jeff Bezos announced that he will be stepping down from his role as CEO of Amazon. The unexpected move was announced during Amazon’s most recent earnings report. Amazon reported its first $100 billion…

news

Robinhood to Re-brand as Sheriff of Nottingham Capital, LLC

(Menlo Park, CA) - Robinhood has made headlines throughout the Covid-19 pandemic as the trading app that millions of retail traders turned to to invest their extra time and money. New investors became day-traders using Robinhood and congregated on a…

news

President Biden Invokes Meme Defense Production Act

(Washington, D.C.) — A flurry of changes and executive actions have defined the the first few days of the Biden presidency. The new administration faces simultaneous financial, domestic, and economic crises. Amidst a series of executive orders…

news

Zoom Wins 'Malware Of The Year' Award for March 2020

(San Jose, CA) - Video conferencing software company Zoom has seen a massive surge in popularity with the Covid-19 pandemic as many workers embrace social distancing and work remotely. Just how big that surge is now clear: "March this year, we…

cloud computing

AWS Launches Mimic: Open-Source Ripoff As-A-Service

(Seattle, WA) - Sources inside Amazon Web Services (AWS) tell us that AWS is in the process of gearing up to launch a new service: Mimic. Focused on rapidly copying open-source projects and spinning up competitive services, Mimic started as an…

news

Google Lays Off 50% of Staff as April Fools' Day Cancelled

(Mountain View, CA) - Google was compelled to lay off around 10% of it's staff today after the official cancellation of April Fools' Day this year. WIth national and international morale at a low due to the Covid-19 pandemic, there was little…

cryptocurrency

Investigation Finds Docker Desktop Just Distributed Cryptomining System

A recent investigation has revealed that the Docker desktop application is really just a massively distributed system for bitcoin mining. An engineer frustrated by rapid battery depletion took a deeper look into why Docker was taking so much energy…

The Latest

Airbnb IPO Shares to Include 'Cleaning Fee'

(San Francisco, CA) - 2020 has been an interesting year for tech IPOs. Many would have expected a complete or near-complete freeze in companies going public with the pandemic ravaging global markets. Yet in true 2020 fashion, the opposite has…

Thousands of 'Smaller, More Scalable' Microliths Appear Around the World

(USA) - The year 2020 hasn't been dull; if anything, it has been increasingly full of surprises. In the latest strange turn of events, a number of large metal monoliths have appeared across the globe in remote places. The sightings have ranged from…

Coinbase Employees Completely Unaware of Election

(San Francisco, CA) - For many workers, today (the day after Election Day), was a difficult day productivity-wise. Many vote totals are stilling counted in key states at time of writing. People everywhere are turning to Twitter and other social media…

Amazon Launches Ring Security Prime

(Seattle, WA) - Amazon launched a slew of new products as part of its fall hardware event on September 24, including expansions of the Echo, Eero, and Ring product lines. Spherical speakers, an Echo Show with a front-facing camera, and Eero routers…

Oracle Launches TikTok Enterprise Edition

(San Francisco, CA) - Sources familiar with the matter have confirmed that Oracle has succesfully beaten back Microsoft, Walmart, and others to secure the buyout of US operations for TikTok. Oracle's victory came as a surprise to many, especially…

Microsoft, Oracle, other Tech CEOs Forced to Pitch TikTok Using TikTok

(Seattle, WA) - Sources inside Microsoft and other companies currently vying for TikTok have revealed that unusual negotation requirements are being placed on bidders. TikTok has required the CEOs of Microsoft, Oracle, Walmart, and any other…

AWS Launches AWS Monopoly: Antitrust Avoidance as-a-Service

(Seattle, WA) - Sources inside Amazon Web Services (AWS) tell us that AWS has launched a new service: Monopoly. AWS Monopoly is focused on rapidly deploying resources to fight antitrust probes and other investigations of anticompetitive behavior. The…

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