Oracle Launches TikTok Enterprise Edition


(San Francisco, CA) - Sources familiar with the matter have confirmed that Oracle has succesfully beaten back Microsoft, Walmart, and others to secure the buyout of US operations for TikTok. Oracle's victory came as a surprise to many, especially given the reputations of the companies involved: one a slightly more modern IBM and the other a burgeoning beheamoth of a social network. It remains to be seen how the two companies will interact post-acquisition. Many commentators had written off the possibility of such a pairing, so thoughts on a possible playbook for the buyout are scarce.

However, a potential sign of things to come has emerged with Oracle announcing they would be launching "TikTok Enterprise Edition" soon after the acquisition proceedings finalize over the next few months. It was unclear from the press statement exactly what TikTok Enterprise Edition would be; no further details beyond the name were given. But an anonymous source inside Oracle was able give us a sense of the internal feeling about the project:

"...we are so excited about TikTok Enterprise Edition. It's going to be written in Java and backed by a million lawyers and cost a ton of money and you're going to hate it."