Microsoft, Oracle, other Tech CEOs Forced to Pitch TikTok Using TikTok
(Seattle, WA) - Sources inside Microsoft and other companies currently vying for TikTok have revealed that unusual negotation requirements are being placed on bidders. TikTok has required the CEOs of Microsoft, Oracle, Walmart, and any other interested parties to submit pitches using the TikTok app itself. Not just that, but apparently TikTok is also pitting the CEOs against each other in various social media competitions. These have included syncronized dance competitions, seeing who can get more followers in a day, and even a competition to who can more effectively apologize to followers for some untoward activity. "We really want to buy TikTok, but honestly it's almost too much at this… read more 🏃♀️
Bill Gates: My Biggest Regret 'Not Using Windows for Global Takeover When I had the Chance'
(Medina, WA) Bill Gates has been in and out of national news for the past few months as a champion of a scientific, data-driven approach to dealing with the Covid-19 pandemic. He recently took part in a longer retrospective interview with unicorn.computer focusing on his time as co-founder and longtime CEO of Microsoft. Some familiar topics came up, including the various corporate clashes with Apple, Microsoft transitioning to being a services and cloud-oriented company, and the early days Windows. Gates' thoughts on these areas have been well-covered over the years and didn't hold much of anything new. But Gates stunned our interviewer when asked what his biggest regret in life was. "I… read more 🏃♀️
Google Lays Off 50% of Staff as April Fools' Day Cancelled
(Mountain View, CA) - Google was compelled to lay off around 10% of it's staff today after the official cancellation of April Fools' Day this year. WIth national and international morale at a low due to the Covid-19 pandemic, there was little appetite for the usual pranks and jokes this year. "We've had to lay off our entire Hijinks, Malarkey, Shenanigans, and Tomfoolery departments, comprising roughly half our headcount. This is devastating. Fortunately, other departments including Search (1%) and Short-Lived Services (49%) will be able to keep running", a spokesperson for the company said. Google is well-known for its commitment to practical jokes on April Fools' Day. Google has put out… read more 🏃♀️