Redmond, WA - Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella recently made public a major development related to Internet Explorer 11. In a stunning reveal, he announced that he had found the browser's last horcrux and planned to destroy it later this year on August 17, 2021. Mr. Nadella held a widely-covered press conference and had this to say:
"After a long and storied battle to eliminate the scourge of a browser from widespread use, we finally did it. Ladies and gentlemen, we got him. We found the last horcrux hidden deep within quirks mode. It was a subtle CSS bug that could only be resolved when it was Wednesday and
!importantwas used in all CSS properties. We are incredibly excited about this major development and have scheduled a demolition later this year at an undisclosed location. The nightmare is over."
Internet Explorer 11 has become a bit of a magnet for negativity in the last few years. After years of accumulating technical debt and avoidance of standards-based development, it has become universally loathed by web and security engineers alike. One Microsoft executive even described it as a not really being a browser, just a "compatibility solution".
Despite being detested, it has proved difficult to remove. Its strategy of splitting itself into hundreds of horcruxes (fragments of a soul) across various enterprise companies and IT departments made was incredibly effective. However, with Mr. Nadella's announcement it appears an era of frustration is ending at last.