national news

Undefined Actually Function, Rules TC-39

March 15, 2020

In a groundbreaking ruling, TC-39 has declared that undefined is a function after all. JavaScript aficionados across the world were stunned by the ruling. The question had been unexpectedly placed on the high court's docket early last fall. Most expected it to be passed over for consideration, as TC-39 has traditionally considered the the question "settled specification".

For years, developers have faced down the taunting text "undefined is not a function" in their consoles. Almost no one expected this to change and have often turned to Stack Overflow or W3 Schools for other options.

Many developers expressed relief and or a sense of justice at the ruling. "I just knew that undefined was a function. All these years of my code yelling at me and not working. All the countless users I've frustrated...all the hours I spent in vain...I always knew it wasn't my fault", said one happy developer.

Others, however, are more concerned. One despondent developer expressed worry about JavaScript as a language and what this would mean for the community: "What does this even mean. What...how. How will this work? We'll have to rewrite half of Stack Overflow. And that's not even counting the impact of millions of terrible Todo apps that will suddenly come online!" Those in the TypeScript community - a growing subset of the broader JavaScript ecosystem - strongly rejected the notion. They likened it to use of any and promised to appeal the case. Others issues veiled threats. "This is insane. If they really do this, we're turning off VS Code for everyone" a senior Microsoft official was heard to say.

Outside the JavaScript community, other languages engaged in a collective eye-roll. "Typical. Exactly what I'd expect from my half-cousin", said Java. Others in the Ruby and Python communities embraced the change, wondering if they, too, might embrace similar freedoms.