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Suez Canal Adds Bumper Rails, to Deploy Clifford the Big Red Dog

2021-03-27

(Suez, Egypt) The ship is still very much stuck. That ship, the Ever Given, is a massively-large container vessel traversing the Suez Canal in Egypt. At time of writing, the ship has been stuck for 4 days, 13 hours and 2 minutes and has created roughly $44 billion in global trade costs, according to istheshipstillstuck.com. The ship lost power while traversing the Suez canal and embedded into one of the banks of the canal, blocking one of the busiest waterways in the world. Many other container vessels diverted around South Africa's Cape of Good Hope after waiting a few days to see if the ship could be refloated. Despite the massive financial cost to the world, attempts to refloat the Ever… read more 🏃‍♀️

Twitter Launches Super Unfollow

2021-02-25

(San Francisco, CA) Twitter announced today that it would roll out a handful of new features over the next few quarters aimed at increasing monetization. Major social media networks like Twitter and Facebook have recently faced increased pressure to innovate from hot newcomers like TikTok, Clubhouse, and Dispo. Adding to the pressure have also been a growing number of subscriber-focused services like Patreon and OnlyFans that allow creators & influences to charge fees for access to content. Most notable among the improvements aimed at increasing profitability was a new "super unfollow" feature. According to an announcement, the feature will "require users to pay a fee to an account they wish… read more 🏃‍♀️

Jeff Bezos Ousted From Amazon By r/wallstreetbets

2021-02-21

Seattle, WA — Founder and CEO of Amazon ($AMZN) Jeff Bezos announced that he will be stepping down from his role as CEO of Amazon. The unexpected move was announced during Amazon’s most recent earnings report. Amazon reported its first $100 billion quarter, a historic accomplishment for the e-commerce giant. What was unexpected, however, were the circumstances under which Jeff Bezos is stepping down. A source on deep-background was able to confirm that Mr. Bezos’ departure was actually caused less by a desire to hand the reigns over and more by a recent shortfall in his personal finances. Apparently, Mr. Bezos was one of the millions of retail investors who piled into GameStop ($GME) right… read more 🏃‍♀️

Oracle Migration to Austin to Take Place Over Next 100 Years

2020-12-11

(San Francisco, CA) - Another longtime corporate resident of the San Francisco Bay Area is leaving town. Oracle, maker of acronym-based software (CRM, ERP, HCM, SCM, and more) as well as database technology is pulling up roots and moving to Austin, Texas. The move comes as a number of other companies have announced similar plans to migrate their corporate headquarters out of California, including Tesla, Palantir, and Hewlett Packard Enterprise. A difference for Oracle, however, is that the migration process will take much, much longer than other companies. We were able to reach an Oracle spokesperson to help us understand why the migration will take so long: "Well, our legal units will move… read more 🏃‍♀️

Thousands of 'Smaller, More Scalable' Microliths Appear Around the World

2020-11-08

(USA) - The year 2020 hasn't been dull; if anything, it has been increasingly full of surprises. In the latest strange turn of events, a number of large metal monoliths have appeared across the globe in remote places. The sightings have ranged from deep in the red-rock desert near Moab, Utah to the coastal Isle of Wight off the UK. But as if that wasn't enough, there has been strange a new development in the saga: thousands and thousands of "smaller, more scalable microliths" have appeared around the world, seemingly in response to the monoliths. The microliths' sudden appearance has further confused people. But some in the tech world seem to know what's going on. We were able to speak to a… read more 🏃‍♀️

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