holidays🏷
Santa's Elves Announce Sub-1-Nanometer Process for CPUs
2022-12-13
The North Pole - Santa's elves have announced that they have created a sub-1-nanometer process for their CPU chips. This groundbreaking technology is the smallest and most advanced in the world, and it will allow the elves to create faster, more efficient, and more powerful chips than ever before. According to the elves, the new sub-1-nanometer chips will be instrumental in helping them create even more advanced toys and gadgets for the children of the world. They will also help Santa's sleigh fly faster and more smoothly on Christmas Eve, ensuring that all the good boys and girls get their presents on time. The news of the 1-nanometer process breakthrough has sent shockwaves throughout the… read more 🏃♀️
Report: Many Parents Planning to Give Children NFTs for Christmas
2022-12-09
New York, NY - Reports from IRONY (Internet Research Organization of New York) indicate that many parents across the country are planning to give their kids a new kind of gift this Christmas. No, it's not the latest collectible craze or the latest and greatest gaming console. Instead, many parents are giving their children NFTs (non-fungible tokens) as gifts this Christmas. And while the parents may think they are giving their children the gift of millions of dollars, the kids are left feeling anything but jolly. "I don't understand it," said 8-year-old Timmy, who received an NFT of a virtual kitten as a gift from his parents. "It's just a bunch of numbers on a computer. It's not even a real… read more 🏃♀️
Twitter Gives Ad Servers the Rest of the Year Off
2022-12-08
San Francisco, CA - Twitter has announced that it is giving its ad servers a much-needed vacation for the rest of the year. According to sources familiar with the matter, the social media company has been struggling to provide sufficient backlog for ads in recent months, and as a result, has run out of ads to serve. But it's not just the sheer volume of ads that has caused the problem - it seems that advertisers are simply losing interest in the platform. "We used to have so many ads to serve, our servers would sometimes smoke or break down from the load," said one Twitter engineer on the ads team. "But now that advertisers hate free speech and are trying to censor us, they're moving on to… read more 🏃♀️
Incredible Black Friday & Cyber Week Sales on NFTs
2022-11-25
Miami, Floria - People are seeing incredible deals on NFTS, the digital collectibles powered by cryptocurrencies, for the Black Friday and Cyber Week shopping holidays this year. Some are on sale for as much as 97% compared to their cost last year. We were able to catch up with some local shoppers to get their thoughts on the deals. Most were enthusiastic about the deals. "Really incredible. Last year, it was hard to believe that these pictures of cartoon gorillas and rocks were worth millions of dollars. And today it's still hard to believe they're worth 3% of millions of dollars" - Tom, 33 "Oh I love it. I've been trying to find this perfect rock JPEG for my significant other for ages and… read more 🏃♀️
Santa Clause Sued & Fined By European Union Over GDPR Breach
2022-11-23
Brussels, Belgium - Santa Clause, the globally-known ancient gift-giver, has been fined €100 trillion (~$103 trillion) by the European Data Protection Commission (DPC) over a "long-running string of persistent and historic data breaches". An EU spokesperson had this to say: "The case we are initiating today challenges Santa's use of a worldwide "Naughty or Nice" list as a prerequisite for children to receive Christmas gifts. Santa has long operated outside the law, collecting highly-sensitive, personally-identifiable information about millions and millions of children. Enough is enough. We're saying 'no no no' to the 'ho ho ho'" The EUDPC, which is the lead privacy regulator in the European… read more 🏃♀️